“Help is on the way, dear” Mrs Euphemia Doubtfire
I was sat with a client and they checked in with their experience of this third lockdown: He noticed he was going out for walks less, going to bed late and working long hours. He wasn’t feeling depressed, but more a sense of withdrawing from the life outside of his home. His check-in reminded of an article I’d read a few weeks ago saying exactly the same thing about people’s experience of this third lockdown. I had noticed in myself too, a withdrawing from even the scant opportunities there were to do something, I simply wasn’t motivated.
We talked about the parts of him that functioned well, the parts that could set boundaries, be clear when something wasn’t ok for him. In Transactional Analysis that part would be termed a Positive Controlling Parent – a parental ego state that firmly and clearly protects.
The part of us that would say to our own children, “It’s late and you need to go to bed, now! Switch off the television …now!” The client mentioned Mrs Doubtfire as a fictional Positive Controlling Parent. There is a scene in the film of that name where Mrs Doubtfire, the determined Nanny to a brood of children, throws the TV remote control into the fish tank – she does whatever she needs to do to ensure that the children get a good night’s sleep.
Along similar lines, the Dalai Lama said, “Happiness in simplicity can be achieved with a flexible mindset and nine hours sleep a night”. Whether you prefer your role model to be concrete or more spiritual in nature, there are times when we could all do with a good looking after.
I’m hearing constantly that people are finding this lockdown even harder than the previous ones, so I’m writing in the hope you find something useful in these emails. They are sent with love and a deep hope that you find the resources you need to feel at peace in your lives, however, they might be touched by this pandemic.
Wishing you peace and love,