I was sat with a client and they checked in with their experience of this third lockdown: He noticed he was going out for walks less, going to bed late and working long hours. He wasn’t feeling depressed, but more a sense of withdrawing from the life outside of his home. His check-in reminded of an article I’d read a few weeks ago saying exactly the same thing about people’s experience of this third lockdown. I had noticed in myself.. read on
I have been working with some consultants in the last few months, they were helping me by designing a new website, and to have more of an ‘on-line’ presence. What I didn’t know, is that some of them had actually sent me the beautiful artwork they did, as a present. Unfortunately, it went to the wrong address, and neither of us knew about the mistake until it came out in conversation. I didn’t know about the beautiful present, and they.. read on
I was working with a client and we were talking about the impact of the news: that we are again going into lockdown. He said he felt scared, scared of getting the virus…scared of being ill and alone…scared of the possibility of his work finishing. As I listened I felt into my own responses to what he said, I recognised all the same anxieties in me. Some of us are facing the awful possibility of our lives as we know.. read on
Personal development and leadership development are largely cleaning up and growing up processes. What I mean by this is that they are about understanding our projections and doing whatever healing work is necessary to “digest” them. When I talk about projections, I mean those aspects of ourselves that we unconsciously disown because we don’t ‘like’ them. We then attach those unacceptable parts of ourselves to others and react to others as if they were the owner of these unacceptable behaviours… read on
Love. It seems a simple thing, but actually it isn’t. Sometimes we find it extremely difficult. Even if we have chosen a life in which we have decided to love others, help others, we are still human, with all those frailties as well as capacities. So, my message, is very simple, treat each other with kindness…and I know it isn’t easy. The first step, first and foremost, is that I must treat myself with kindness. I have to have the.. read on
I have never talked openly before about my own journey as a Counsellor and Coach, or shared my own insights and thoughts, so I am really interested to hear what you think?
I offer my own ideas and experiences as a way of connecting to you, and in the hope that what goes on for me, might also resonate for you. I offer my own ideas and experiences in the hope that they might ignite something in you….
The wound is where the light gets in…(Rumi)
I see an obvious allegory in Rumi’s writing in the way Jesus faces pain with courage and yet still finds compassion for others. Of course different religions all offer allegorical tales pointing to the same basic truth – that pain is the path to growth. And if you see pain as your path to growth, you don’t try to bargain it away, or blame others, or pretend it’s not happening, but attempt to face painful experiences with the same courage and compassion…although I do want to say clearly at this point, when we feel traumatised, that is also the point at which most of us are in too much pain to have clear perspective.
I spent many years, angry at the start I had in life. Jealous of others that they had been given the gift of parents who loved them, who didn’t abuse them. I remember asking my therapist, “When will I stop feeling so angry?” (And that was already 8 years in). He answered simply, “I don’t know…..” read on